MiscPosted by Marie Mon, March 31, 2008 23:41:02
Well, time to start writing here as well I guess, even though I haven't gotten the design I want for it yet, but Hey! Rome wasn't built in a day, right?
This blog won't be starting with my anger and sadness in general, but I have to complain a little bit about peoples ignorance.
As I have made the consious decision to not have children, and therefore stepping outside the norm that every woman wants at least one child of her own, I constantly get comments like:
"When you grow up you will re-think your decision"
"You will regret it when you get older"
"When you are old you will be all by yourself"
"You must be really immature"
"Kids are the best things in life, if you don't have any you don't know what life is"
"People that hate kids are psychos"
and so on, and so forth... If I then tell them that I acctually had my tubes tied a while ago, they start over again:
"Why would you want to take away the one thing that makes you a woman"
"Now you will REALLY regret your decisions later in life"
and they go on and on and on... The funny thing is that I have never said a word about hating anyone, let alone kids. Hate is a really strong feeling and I might dislike some people but so far kids haven't been included in that circle.
I also thought that when over 30 years old I would be considered to be "grown up" and able to make my own decisions. I can admit to being immature some times... well, most of the time to be honest, but that doesn't have any effect on my desire to not have children. And if I get all alone when I'm old I must have behaved really badly, if no one will visit me. I, so far, have 9 nieces and nephews, lots of friends and their children, family and I seriously doubt that not a single one of them will come to visit me when I get old. If that happens to be the case I can't blame anyone but myself, because then I really have to been nasty to people around me.
I think it would feel worse if I would have had, say 3 kids, and not one of them came to visit me. Having kids does not by default mean that they will stick by you for the rest of your life.
And regretting my decision... sure, that might happen, but as in all cases of decision making, you have to take the consequense of the choise you make. Whether it's having kids or not, what car you should buy, pizza or burgers for dinner and so on... you always have to take the consequense of your actions. And I seriously doubt that I am a psycho, even if I don't feel sane all the time.
I don't go around critising people for the choises they make, if they have children, if they buy a new car, get a dog, when I think they should get a cat, so why do they think it is okay to lash out on me for the choise I made? Is it just because the norm sais everyone should have children? Is it because it's the "right" thing to do? Are they so desperate to have someone that loves them back unconditionally that they can't see that not everyone has that need?
Yes, I am ego, but so are those who chose to have kids, as the child never asked to be born into this world, and honestly... not everyone is suited to be a parent, but here is no parent licence even though that might screw up an innocent persons life, but you have to have a licence to drive a car... Okay... maybe not the same thing, but...
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